the OLIVE

TULSA, OK – Multiple teachers at Glendale River High School look forward to the day every month when Salisbury steak is served in the cafeteria, all claiming it’s to die for. Social Studies teacher Don Fredrickson admitted, “I’m dreading summer being around the corner, as that means I’ll have to go the next three months without any Salisbury steak. It’s so mouthwatering good that on days of Salisbury steak, I’m Pavlov drooling by the time the first period bell rings.”

Principal Michael Edison boasted, “At Glendale River, our student body has somewhat average grades and we won the cross-country district title back in 1976, but our Salisbury? It takes the ‘steak,’ and that’s saying something considering I’ve been an administrator for seven different school districts.” Physical Ed teacher Bob Randolph claimed, “I’ve never been to a Michelin-starred restaurant, but I can guarantee you any food you get there doesn’t come close to Glendale River’s Salisbury.” The lunch ladies revealed they even make extra to stash in their purses.

It’s even been reported in school records that students’ attendance is the highest on Salisbury steak days – but that could be due to their knowledge that teachers will be in the best of moods on those days and nothing to do with them liking the steak. At press time, Fredrickson said, “The steak is why I continue to be a teacher at this school despite such little pay because frankly, the Salisbury here is better than sex.”