the OLIVE

SARASOTA, FL – Instead of ransacking, a polite suspect left the victim’s residence much cleaner than he found it after breaking and entering on Friday night. Wanting to remain anonymous for obvious reasons, the man said, “People assume that I do the cleaning to remove any fingerprints or evidence of my being there, but I actually get it from my mom. She sort of engrained it in me at an early age to ‘always leave it better than you found it.’” He figures it is the nice thing to do when stealing a family’s heirlooms, jewelry and watches, cash, electronics, bikes, prescription drugs, etc.

The family was not home at the time of the crime, so he thought it would be a thoughtful gesture for them to come home to their robbed house that is even cleaner than they left it. “I was there most of the night not just because they had a lot of valuables but from washing their dirty dishes in the sink, scrubbing their showers, and dusting their attic. I did also polish their flatware but not their silver as I took that with me.”

He explained, “I only pick the locks as I personally think it’s rude when other thieves shatter a window which makes such a mess and headache for owners to clean up and replace. I always take my shoes off at the door to not drag in any dirt and clean up any dirt that was already there.”

The leave-no-trace philosophy is a respectful and memorable thing to do while committing a criminal offense. The burglar added, “I may be taking, tens of thousand dollars worth of stuff, if not hundred thousands, in personal property from someone, but I’ve been told it’s the little things that count and matter most that you do for people that they will always remember about your kindness.” Although the family was happy that the garbage was taken out since they forgot, they are still pressing charges.

At press time, now in custody the criminal offender said, “It’s also polite to not make noise to wake up the neighbors, and not just to prevent from getting caught but because it is flat out ill-mannered to disrupt someone’s sleep in the middle of the night like that.”